31 October 2009

This one is rare:

> Sir after the initial period of objectless concentration ,awareness is
> automatically turned within.The body after a few breathing pranayamas isnt
> felt at all.The body conciousness feels like a corpse,something like
> that.The body is there but the awareness is within.I become aware of the
> movement of thoughts,how they appear and how they drop.Many times during
> witness, the thoughts are not there and i reach a stage of sort of void or
> emptyness.At that time i observe an expansion happenning at the third
> eye...a nothingness prevails ,so then there is no object as such except that
> nothingness.Also i feel during witness stage there is another witness
> watching the witnessing ,as thoughts appear and identification starts ,that
> another witness is always watching whether witnessing is happenning or no
> and brings back to witnessing again....Its sort of complicated to express
> but it is something like that.Is this the "subject" you are referring too?
> Actually the period of nothingness or void is too short,the mind interferes
> and by witnessing it i reach a thoughless state for sometime till mind
> interfers again.All this while after the body conciousness is long
> lost,there is one more "witness" who is observing whether the witnessing is
> happening or no.yes something like that....

Yes, this is perfect understanding. Eventually there will only be one
witness. One of the witnesses is merely the mind commenting on the
introspection process.

You might, at this time, instead of trying to follow "I AM"
introspection, just try to witness the witness. Watch the watcher.

> I wanted to tell you also that yesterday i was in the "glimpse" for a full
> day after my dhyaan...I have already described what it is in that state in
> my earlier mail.There is much to go further you say but within and outside
> of me i feel this is it, as i feel a growing connection with everything
> around me ,just about everything.You said it is a form of samadhi,previous
> to you my kriya Guru had termed it as sarvikalpa samadhi.But these again are
> concepts ,but just curious what kind of samadhi you would define this
> as.sheer curiosity.

What you call the glimpse is the absence of the thinking process. You
are intently and completely aware without the chattering mind being
engaged. But in the glimpse you are not aware that all that out there
in the world is only your mind creation and is not real.

I have no names for the various samadhis. As you say, they are just
names and of no import. Even the experience of the various samadhis is
not important. In fact, nothing is important, except, to me, to live
as a kind and just man helping others, being a shepherd for all
physically and morally. You are your brother's keeper. All the rest is
only philosophy and illusion.

You are very close to finishing your self-exploration. Therefore I
urge you to ripen your understanding and peace, and care for others.

You are doing very well...


18 October 2009

Hello Edji, My name is Rajiv K and i reside in mumbai,India. > I visited your blog and felt i write to you a few things.I write to one who > not only is a disciple of the great Robert Adams but also to the one who > himself is aware of "what is",probably the truth as it is.

I know its > impossible to correctly describe that state in words and there is no way > you,i or anyone can yet i feel inclined to communicate,share and learn from > you what you feel as regards the marvelous thing we call "consciousness" or > "truth" or watever names we can call it by... > > The past: > 

My "journey" began 13 yrs ago when i was first initiated in kriya through > YSS/SRF in mumbai.I had a very scary OBE expereince then and each time i > would sit i would be pulled in a dark tunnel speeding in high intensity.That > time i was just practicing a techinque called Hong-sau.Anyways YSS asked me > to discontinue the use of hong-sau and i felt that time they were least > bothered about anything except "surrender" to the Guru.Dissatisfied with the > response i seeked looking for a personal Guru who could help me with my > expereinces and satisfy all my deep spiritual longings. > 

After much seeking and looking and initiated a few more times with other > gurus i finally found the Guru my heart approved of.He was a traditional > Guru and very jovial person at the same time.He got me initiated in higher > kriyas including kechari mudra which supposedly is of immense importance to > expereince higher levels of consciousness.I personally dont feel any of my > expereinces would have been much different without kechari,but this is my > personal feeling.

During my practices in kriya i had various "expereinces" > like OBE,Lucid dreams,heightened awareness,even kevali kumbhak (stoppage of > breath automatically for a few seconds which gave immense joy all over each > cell of my body) etc etc...But somehow i always felt all this is very > delusionary as i set out to "achieve" more and more of this joy and > bliss,more and more of these expereinces like OBEs.I felt inwardly i was > seeking too much and my heart and mind was still not in rest except a few > occasions > when i expereinced a thoughtless state...rest of the time i was busy > seeking,making whole loads of images of Guru kripas and dreams of Gurus and > Babaji.

I felt inwardly i was getting deeper and deeper into a bundle of > various conditionnings and beliefs imposed by other chelas who beleived the > same.I felt there is something hugely amiss here either in my practice or in > my understanding....All i was awaiting for was to accumulate many > expereinces not realsiing that maybe the mind itself was creating them for > me... > > The in-between: > 

On realizing that probably the biggest barrier are my own beliefs and > conditioning's i just couldnt keep going with my kriyas.The very > technique,the very teachings i felt were becoming a sort of barrier to > expereincing truth as it is for the mind was beginning to reach "somewhere" > rather than just "being".I then decided that i shall observe ,simply observe > what is going on within and outside of me.I realised that the bliss,peace > and thoughtless state returned even without kriya.

The mere "observation" > resulted in this.And so i can carry on like this even in waking stage and > not only during kriya.All concepts like God,blessings,liberation,beliefs > dropped on carefull observation. > > The "Present" > I carry on trying to witness every thoughts,emotions than arise in my > mind.I realize that my awareness is growing as i start giving utmost > attention to everything happenning within and outside of me.There are > glimpses of joy and utmost bliss which prevails around me.

During that time > my state is like a man drunk but with extreme and heightened attention.I > feel drunk with immense awareness.There is nothing i like to achieve,gain or > be.I am just "it" .This is perhaps just "being".I observe everything so > clearly ,so bright ,the colors around me are much brighter than usual and > sparkle and dance around me.During that "glimpse" (as i call it) the > thoughts seem rare, and even if they arise i observe them clearly as they > come and go.

There is nothing to achieve,be or go anywhere.Everything around > looks so magical and pure like i am observing something new for the very > first time.There is no need of Guru or any God during that state.Everything > melts. > > The question > 

Edji i call the above a glimpse becoz it is not in continuity,it lasts for > perhaps 2 to 3 hours a day mostly during the evening time.I cant say i can > create the glimpse for it happens on its own...And disappears on its > own.Perhaps in the evening i dont have to worry much about my work or maybe > there is some other reason.The "glimpse" has happened to me also during the > office hours but its rare...Sometimes i feel the desire to be in that > glimpse forever too could be an obstacle to be it,maybe.Pls write back your > observations and suggestions.I really need some guidance on this.I have > written down best i could in words. > > Many regards and Pranams, > R

What you are experiencing is due to the intensity of your practice. The barrier-creating chattering mind has stopped, and you have pure perception. If you could dwell in this state all the time, that is one form of samadhi. But that "first time" world is still illusion, experience added onto you.

If you can formalize your meditation and sit in Padmaasana for about 45 minutes in the morning, you should be able to generate it at will as well as pure oneness states. Most probably this will disappear over time. It is the final state for some types of yogis, such as Krishnamurti, etc. Why don't you go with it and see where it takes you?  

This is not classic advaita though. In Advaita you focus attention not on everything, but attempt to concentrate on the subject, the sense of I. Advaita unfortunately is heavy with cognitive elements. Don't do that as yet though. Continue to go as you are doing but add at least one 45 minute session sitting facing a wall with eyes closed or half open. Sit as solidly as possible. Tell me what happens.  

Hi Ed

I have been in and out of it lately...yesterday the mind flow stopped again.
I don't usually question myself...I just rest in silence without trying to understand
what's happening...but yesterday something became clear.

There is no difference between "waking", "dreaming" or "sleeping"...
they are passing states. Maybe the mind flow is responsible for them but I'm not sure and
I'm not really keen to mentally investigate it...there is just a feeling of being separate from them.

With the "waking" and "dreaming" state space appears...
in this space the feeling of "me" as a separate entity could appear ( if It does I'm aware of it..
I can see it arising and subsiding...even now that It is really weak).
Without a feeling of "me" space prevails...everything is in it...
there are no separate entities...just one space...a passing show that goes by itself...there is no control over it.
But this space is false...it comes and goes...everything in it is false.
The action of writing this email to you is just an appearance in this moment...nothing is really happening.

The funny thing is that during the last months I often thought about how I should conduct my life..
what was right and what was wrong. But It is clear now that there is nobody doing anything...
wrong and right are just concepts...things can appear in different ways but nothing is really happening.
And all this happens (or not happens) just in two states....the "waking" or "dreaming" state...
and when these states subside everything in it disappears.

I feel humbled buy realizing it and feel love but what difference can make these passing feelings
in a false reality? love and hate are worth the same...they are worth nothing.
I don't know what will happen...for the moment the mind is calm and a peaceful feeling prevails.

thank you


This is very good. You glimpse not only are objects abd self in the waking and dream state unreal, but the states themselves are unreal.

Next you have to turn towards understanding who or what you are in the deep sleep and before birth states.


02 October 2009

Hi Ed. Can you answer me a few more questions about the I - that doesn't exist. 
In my practice, when I am ,being conscious, of being - what is watching (being conscious) and what is the being?
You say that beingness is mistaken for a personal I, thus generating a belief in a personal I (this makes perfect sense to me). Is beingness what I am conscious of in my practice? Because thats all I am aware of. From what I see in my practice, there is beingness - thats it! But the witnessing of my beingness is a stumper.
The belief in a personal I - the belief being a thought? but where did it come from? if I am not the thinker, then who or what set it up?
I noticed also in my practice - that thoughts arise but I never think! I can identify with the thoughts, but Ed I don't see me creating them - which is a eye-opener, or is it my imagination!
Also I am perplexed by volition and decision making. If I am sitting in a chair, and a thought arises that I should get up, there is an intention to rise, an exercise of will and then the body is off to do what is needed. Who or what intended and willed the body to move?
If I am driving my car, and I come to a stop sign, and I decide to turn left or right - who is making the decision. 
I just re-read your first awakening, and it made perfect sense this time. I knew what you were talking about. I know this is all mental, but I believe , at least mentally, that I can understand the idea of no personal I. I think with these directed questions I can at least increase my understanding. 
Now if you say that everything, thoughts, volition, decision making and discrimination occur out of nothingness - enacted by a non-locatable, non-peronal doer. Then that means that I am not the thinker or the doer or the one writing this letter - EVERYTHING HAPPENS BY ITSELF, EVERYTHING!
Can't wait to get your response on this! 

My response:

These questions you ask are exactly the ones Robert asks you to ask.

They cause you to turn your attention towards the subject.

But then you find the subject is not a thing. It does not exist.

Without the subject, there is then no object. Without subject and
object there is no inner or outer.

There is only one consciousness.

This is step one.  Stay there for a while. Just rest in that undivided state.

This certainly is not the final understanding, but you do need to stay
in that place for a while.



Thanks Ed. Your telling me I need these questions to find my own answer? Whatever you tell me will not solve my problem, I must do that myself?
Always appreciate your help Ed. Thanks.

My Response:

Anything I tell you is only words which you will interpret according
to your present understanding and past experiences. My words cannot
take your mind beyond concepts to grasp what you really are. In
effect, your mind and its understanding are what is keeping you from
knowing your "realer" nature. You have to go to the place before
your mind arises, empty mind, silent mind.

That is, search for that awareness before thoughts and even the intent for directed attention arise.

Your mind is the problem. Get to where it has stopped or has not arisen.
Any "answers" posted about your question only makes the mind work
harder to integrate them into what you already know.

It is all about silence, not answers. This is difficult for the busy mind to accept, and difficult for a busy mind to do, but once you learn how it is the most blissful, peaceful practice you can have.

01 October 2009

Cat Potty Pranks High Water Bill 1

Hi Ed,

I currently have the idea that I need to stabilize in pure I AMness 24/7 (or at least all waking hours) before I have a shot at realization. Is that true? Is that the most likely scenario?


My response:
The more practice the better. What you are actually doing is reversing an entire life with attention directed outwards, which allows you to grasp the entirety of consciousness as a whole, both inwardly directed and outwardly.

There is no requirement as such, except this is the way it is usually done.

The actual grasping of the entirety will usually happen spontaneously, when you least expect it.